the one as well as the other

"In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him."
-King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 7:14

This scriptural nugget has stuck with me ever since the first time I remember reading it in 2003. I seem to recall it most frequently in "days of prosperity." I remind myself not to think my good times are a sign of deserved favor. I remind myself that prosperous days may turn sour and fruitless, or at least appear so, at the drop of a hat. And I remind myself that when adversity comes, it must be met with a generous measure of grace and good humor.

I have many thoughts that branch from this, but they concern a personal matter about which it would be wise not to write. There are several reasons for this, not the least of which is the public nature of blogging. I remain convinced that not all thoughts ought to be written, let alone published in any fashion. And to vent in detail about my own personal and relational affairs in a blog raises a bright red flag in my mind - the warning that would keep me from turning into that which I so sincerely hope to avoid.

The day is prosperous, and I remain joyful.

more thoughts after my recent talk with Joel

Can I really even believe that I am God's workmanship? Is it at all possible that I was created to do good works, that I can do good works?

A cursory glimpse over my life brings to mind flash frames of uselessness, lack of motivation and intent, devoid of passion and purpose, and the whole time steeped in mediocrity. I count myself cursed, because in my assessment I am made only with the desire to do good works, yet without the capacity or ability to realize this desire. Like a fish cruelly brought to life on dry land, I flop about for a short while, in a desperate and vain attempt to land in the water that I have never experienced but know I need.

(Gills don't lie.)

A fish out of water is good for nothing until it is finally, mercifully killed and eaten. And that is all it's good for. I flirt with the notion that my prompt death would be a greater service to the world than to prolong my sad flopping about. I almost dare the Lord to do it. "Come on, God... Don't you want to?" He doesn't. God as I know Him, in this context, is either an unspeakably cruel boy playing with a cosmic sandbox, or greater and more wonderful and more sovereign and more alive than any being that's dreamt of in my philosophy.

thoughts from Genesis

The world is not how it should be - in fact, it is so far from God's good intent that all who are awake to it ought to despair. What, then, is this hope we have? It must be one of two things: either a futile self-delusion OR a more grand, counter-intuitive, altogether wonderful truth and stealth-reality than a mind such as mine could ever hope to conceive.

I wager my very life on the latter.